Archive for July, 2006

Oprah Gives Finacial Advice From High Horse

July 24, 2006

Oprah Winfrey recently hosted a series of episodes entitled “America’s Debt Diet,” in which she doled out financial advice while sitting on an actual high horse. She was accompanied by several advisors, each one a published writer and who joined her on their own, although not quite as tall, high horses.

On the show, Winfrey spoke with several families who were heavily in debt. While atop her horse, the millionare host projected the embarassing spending habits and credit card debts of these families on television for all the world to see.

After discussing each family’s spending habits and debts, Oprah offered tips on sticking to a budget and eliminating the debt.

One family in particular ate out for every meal instead of cooking at home, all the while racking up an incredible debt. Oprah graciously offered the help of her own personal chef to help the family learn how to cook economically. She then picked up a few gold nuggets and fed them to her horse.

Another family spent hundreds of dollars a month on clothes. Oprah looked down from her high horse, who like her was dressed in Gucci, to suggest that these families take a look at how much they spend on clothing. In her wisdom she suggested that these families go places such as The Salvation Army and Goodwill to find bargains. Her horse then pooped into an old Prada bag she doesn’t use anymore.

Many are applauding the efforts made by Oprah to reach down from her high horse to aid the common man. When reached for comment, Jack McDebt, one of the guests on her show, had this to say: “I just thought we would go on the show and she would give us a bunch of money and a car like she does for all those people in her audience. Instead she went off and told all of our debt secrets and horrible credit scores. I’d even settle for one of those diamond encrusted shoes her horse was wearing. Now, after the show, I still have my debt, and the whole world knows about it. Thanks Oprah!”

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A Blog is Born

July 24, 2006

Well, what does one say in a first blog? I could say something about how society has conditioned me to begin the blog with a question such as the one I just posed.

I guess I’ll begin the blog by talking about why I want to start this in the first place. Throughout the day I see things and experience situations that I form an opinion about. A blog seems like an ideal place to express theses opinions. I’d also like to analyze not only the situations I encounter but also my opinions and the reasons why I have formed them.

Another reason I’d like to start this blog is to give me a place to fine tune my writing skills. I like to write, but I don’t do nearly enough of it. By keeping a detailed log of my experiences and obeservations, I will be able to practice expressing myself in an intelligent, comprehensible manner.

Finally, I hope this blog will give me something to look back on in the future. I want it to serve as something of a record of a journey. I want to be able to read it years from now and see how I have become the person that I will be in the future. How have I changed? How have I stayed the same?

Ok, I know I said “Finally,” so I shouldn’t say anything more, but I will anyway. You may see as you read this blog that I tend to be sarcastic and somewhat satirical at times. Please realize that this is entirely on purpose.